Teachers Notes for
Excuse Me I Was Here First
The show uses the words (Win and Lose) to explore the possible
outcomes of any conflict.
When two people resolve a conflict the possible outcomes are:-
1. Both people can lose - A Lose, Lose situation.
2. One person can Win and one person can Lose - A Win, Lose
situation.
3. Both people can Win - A Win, Win situation.
The show teaches that the best resolution of any conflict is the Win, Win scenario.
The steps the show promotes to achieve a Win, Win outcome
are:-
1. Tell your story.
2. Listen to their story.
3. Work together.
4. Find a solution.
and the one DON'T that the show stresses is
1. Don't make the situation worse.
The show elaborates on the four steps but further exploration
after the show in class, while the ideas are fresh in students minds, will
obviously help to reinforce and refine the resolution process. Use the
following to start a class discussion.
1. Tell your side of the story.
Keep your side of the story short. Between thirty seconds to a
minute should be enough time for each person to tell their side of the story.
Stick to the facts.
When telling your story DON'T accuse the other person.
For example DON'T say "You make me so angry when you... etc etc."
but instead say "I get really upset when you ... etc. etc."
DON'T say what you think the other person is doing, say what you want to
do. For example DON'T say "You never let me have a turn on the ... etc, etc"
instead say "I would like to have a turn on the .. etc, etc."
2. Listen to their side of the story.
Actively listen by looking at the person as they speak to you. If
they say something that you agree with, nod your head to show them you agree with
them.
When Listening DON'T interrupt; DON'T put an angry look on your face.
3. When working together remember
that there are only three possible outcomes to the conflict and only one of the
outcomes (the Win, Win outcome) will guarantee that you win.
Make a list of important words and phrases that come to mind when people work
together to find a solution.
Example:- share, compromise, generosity, calm, give some ground, be kind to each
other, etc.
Make a list of important words and phrases that come to mind that will NOT
help people work together to find a solution.
Example DON'T:- shout, scream, push, get upset, etc.
4. Find a solution. Why is it important for you to find your own solution to your problems? Why not just go to a teacher and get them to sort out any and every problem that arises? Example of answers. There is not always going to be another person around to help you sort out life's problems. Unless both people are willing to co-operate and compromise, most often, the only solution a teacher or any third party can offer is a Lose, Lose outcome to your situation.
Get your class to suggest a situation where two people are in conflict. Then discus multiple outcomes to the conflict ensuring that at least one of the suggested outcomes, falls into one of each of the three categories set out in the show (Win, Win) (Win, Lose) and (Lose, Lose).
References
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=287&id=1521
http://www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk/resources/activities/module-4---conflict-resolution.html